We all occasionally make decisions we later regret.
Reflecting on the patients I see on the ward every week, I came up with a straightforward 3-question framework that enhances decision-making processes.
Thinking a few steps ahead will get you a long way.
Also discover how consistent systems produce remarkable outcomes.
Read on!
Today in 3 minutes or less, you’ll learn:
✔️ How to “balance everything” in life
✔️ Facing the music
✔️ The hidden costs of bad decisions
Doable ideas 💭
Most friends think I am a “balanced” person who is able to keep career, health and relationships all on the plate despite whatever happens in life.
I’m not a superhuman.
The truth is, I have systems in place so life pretty much runs on its own so I do not derail from my goals.
A big part of having systems is to minimise decisions.
I have a “standard operating procedure” (SOP) for recurring decisions:
- Slow carb diet (eat pretty much the same thing 6 days a week: similar ingredients, 4-6 recipes on rotation)
- Workout routines (upper/lower body split; I review progress and switch things up every 12 weeks)
- Content creation (once a week I pick the most valuable lesson to share with you)
When I wake up, I just follow whatever I set out to do.
This reduces decision fatigue and preserves mental energy for important matters.
Does that make my life sound boring?
It all comes down to what you care more: your dream life, your goals, or how others think of you?
Reflections 🪞
What emotion have I been avoiding lately, and what might it be trying to tell me?
Mindfulness 🧘🏻♀️
Most clients/patients I work with lack insight on what’s going on in their lives – whether that be health, relationships or skillsets.
They made a wrong deicsion, and ended up in undesirable circumstances (reliance on carers, involuntary admission to mental health ward, serious injuries etc.).
They took a risk – whether that be trying that recreational drug, overdosing, over-reliance on alcohol – and it didn’t go well.
Reflecting on the hundreds of patients I see on the ward, I learnt that second-order thinking is essential.
We need to consider the long-term effects of our actions beyond the immediate outcomes.
Start asking “and then what?” before making a decision to can prevent unintended negative consequences.
One question I often ask is, is the consequence reversible?
In everyday life, simple habits like wearing seatbelts and using condoms help us avoid consequences that can’t be undone.
We just don’t think about that often.
Even if the risk seems small or if the outcome is reversible, we need to consider the probability of undesirable outcomes happening.
When we practice thinking about long-term consequences, we make better choices. This helps us avoid snap decisions we’ll regret later, build a more stable life, and bounce back quicker when things go wrong.
Develop more insights on risks.
Start with this framework:
- What is my immediate goal?
- What might happen beyond my intended outcome?
- Am I prepared to handle those potential consequences?
I used to drink more often when I was in Hong Kong.
Back then I wasn’t this health-conscious, sensible version of myself (see how “boring” I am now from the first section). I used to prioritise bar hopping and socialising over my health.
But as I got into exercising and eating healthy, instead of thinking “I want to have fun tonight,” I started asking “How will I feel tomorrow?” and “Will this affect my performance at work next week?”.
This simple shift reduced my alcohol consumption to almost 0.
The beauty of second-order thinking is that it doesn’t require you to eliminate risks entirely—it just helps you take calculated ones with your eyes wide open.
And that is what mindfulness is about.
Ideas Worth Pondering 🧠
The amount you overthink is directly inverse to how much you live life. Do not trade the thing you want for the thing that is supposed to facilitate it.
– Chris Williamson
Video This Week 🎥
Look who’s back on YouTube!
This week I walked you through one of my all-time favourite music therapy activity: lyrics substitution.
I get it – song writing isn’t easy.
This is why we don’t start from scratch.
We can start with changing the lyrics of known songs.
With a structure in place, we can safely explore our emotions and express ourselves.
Watch how I rewrite (and sing!) “Numb” originally by Linkin Park 👇🏻