It is an honest and vulnerable confession of my addiction to solitude and how I got out of my lonely chapter.
Read on.
Today in 3 minutes or less, you’ll learn:
✔️ The beauty of single tasking
✔️ Stop living like you’re immortal
✔️ What “personal development” costed me
Doable ideas 💭
Do one activity (e.g. washing dishes, walking) mindfully and without multitasking.
It is difficult even for me – I like my music or podcasts on when I’m driving, walking or cooking.
More proof that we actually need to have intention and create the environment to make mindfulness happen.
Whether that be meditation, float therapy or working out, it is valuable to have moments when you align your body and mind.
It helps you focus fully on what you’re doing right now. This reduces stress and mental overload that happens when you try to do too many things at once.
Go single task.
Reflections 🪞
How would I live differently if I truly embraced the finite nature of my time?
Mindfulness 🧘🏻♀️
I don’t have a morning routine anymore.
Back in 2022 I followed all of Dr. Andrew Huberman’s advice to optimise health: getting morning sunlight while walking outside, dealying caffeine intake, and planning the best times for exercise and focused work.
I even wrote and made videos about it.
But my life changed.
I moved out.
I had different goals.
My work schedule changed.
I’m not always sleeping alone.
This path down in personal development made me become fixated and rigid in getting every aspect of my life in the “right” order.
Solitude was addictive.
I had control.
Every minute I spent with myself could be disguised as self improvement.
I felt good. But there was always a void that couldn’t be filled.
You alone can only go so far.
Walking with someone is a lot more effective and fun.
I needed to end this lonely chapter, or thinking I’m in “monk mode”.
During my quarterly review, I made it one of my values to focus on quality relationships.
And I did go out of the comfort zone, right away.
I attended several calisthenics groups.
I started surrounding myself with like minded people.
I stopped being rigid on tracking my every set, rep and RPE like I used to do when I trained alone.
It was more effective in a way that, not only did I get to spend time with people but I also got my workout done. I also started to understand the inefficiency in my own unsolicited workout program.
I started to know what was possible.
As a massive introvert, it was not easy.
But all human beings yearn for connection, despite their personalities.
We all want to be heard and understood.
Personal development is great, but it can be costly if you spend too much time alone, in your head.
I learnt this lesson the hard way.
It is not easy to get out of our shells.
But I’m trying, every day, to make a difference.
I stopped relying on the “best condition” – the sunlight, the caffeine, the walk – before I take action.
Don’t use self-improvement as an excuse to avoid what you really need to do.
When was the last time you prioritised connection over personal optimisation?
How might your life change if you balanced solitude with meaningful relationships?
Ideas Worth Pondering 🧠
John Wooden’s advice to his players says it: Change the definition of success. “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
– Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
Did you love this newsletter?
If so, please let me know by either:
- #1: Forwarding this to a friend whom you think would benefit from actionable well-being tips
- #2: Hitting reply. Send me a sentence or two about what you enjoyed. I meant it when I say I’d love to hear from you. Typing into the void isn’t nearly as fun as interacting with real humans 🙂