I have been thinking a lot about our assumptions and how we frame the problems in our lives lately.
A lot of what happens in our head affects our quality of life.
Maybe most of the time we are suffering from imagination.
Maybe we would be happier if we lived our lives from another perspective.
What upsets people is not things themselves, but their judgements about these things. — Epictetus
Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems. — Epictetus
Today in 3 minutes or less, you’ll learn:
✔️ Simple way to build confidence
✔️ Redefining success
✔️ Address your deepest needs (lesson I learnt from cutting back on caffeine!)
Doable ideas 💭
Write down three wins from your day before going to bed.
You can train your brain to notice the positives rather than dwelling on what went wrong.
This is particularly crucial in this day and age, as news and social media often draw our attention to events that trigger our anxiety and anger.
These wins can be small, everyday moments – like making someone smile, completing a task you’ve been putting off, or taking time for yourself.
Practise some gratitude and build up some confidence.
Reflections 🪞
What does “success” look like to me this season of life?
Mindfulness 🧘🏻♀️
I successfully ditched my afternoon coffee for 17 days.
Two weeks ago I wouldn’t have believed that it was possible.
And this is exactly the problem: I developed an unhelpful narrative around caffeine, thinking I couldn’t function well without it.
Red flag.
Did I have caffeine dependent or addiction issues?
I absolutely loved my morning coffee ritual – I grind the beans manually, and use a scale and gooseneck kettle to brew my perfect cup of pourover. Every single day.
I got a lot of joy out of it and I was unwilling to let go.
But since God knows when, I started having my second cup of coffee after lunch.
As time passed, I started telling myself I needed the extra kick to get work done or perform well in my workouts.
But I didn’t like the idea that my performance, or even alertness, is dependent on a substance.
I feel weak even saying that.
So I decided to challenge my narrative and experiment cutting my second cup of coffee for the day.
The result?
17 days in, my alertness didn’t change at all. Nor my sleep. My work and exercises were fine.
Business as usual.
I can safely conclude that I don’t need extra caffeine to function (not that I can safely enjoy more coffee without consequence!).
I found out it was more of a ritual to cure boredom.
Now that is interesting.
I noticed I “feel like drinking something with flavour” after lunch but since I’m on a diet, I can only stick to tea or coffee.
That’s how it all started.
Only if I sat with that craving for a while and let it pass, I would realise not drinking anything was fine.
We all have different “addiction” to avoid unpleasant feelings.
For me it was coffee, which might sound “healthier” than other people’s poison, but in theory it was the same: we are numbing or self-soothing.
There is something deeper unresolved.
I noticed the same thing when I accidentally binge ate more nuts than usual on some days.
When you find yourself bored, lonely, or avoiding tasks, pay attention. These behaviours often point to deeper issues. Try to spot what’s really triggering them.
The deeper need unmet.
From there, you can develop strategies and alternative coping mechanisms.
It is not comfortable to challenge yourself.
Nor is it comfortable ignoring your inner voice/unmet needs and opting for instant gratification.
Be like a mirror.
Observe, don’t judge.
Ideas Worth Pondering 🧠
A surefire way to make a bad situation worse is to continue replaying it in your mind. The damage is done. The only thing that matters now is making the best choice given your current position. Next play mentality.
– James Clear
Whenever you’re ready, there are 2 ways I can help you:
- Claim your peace of mind with these handpan guided meditation soundtracks.
- Work 1:1 with me to improve your health and wellbeing with music therapy. No waiting list!
Stay awesome x
Venus