Flip the All-in or Nothing Mindset ♽

This week my friend noticed I have this all-in-or-nothing mindset when it comes to achieving goals:

• 👾 I deleted an MMORPG game on my phone without hesitation after a long period of spending 4-5 hours every day on it (while I was a full time accountant studying CPA)
• 📱 I quit Instagram seemingly out of the blue after using it for 10+ years
• 🍳 I started slow carb diet only with brief research and was able to quit my Asian carb-loaded diet 6 days a week pretty easily

I either get really invested or quit cold turkey. There’s nothing in between.

When it comes to planning, thoughts and emotions, this mindset didn’t really serve my well:

• I would rate it a bad week if one of my clients didn’t seem to progress
• “X never cares about me because she never asked how I’m feeling”
• “I cannot film 3 videos this morning, I’m not going to even start”

Our minds make or break us.

I’m human, and I can only do so much to manage my thoughts despite my profession.

I write about this to bring you and I awareness our different thinking styles.

In fact, I would argue that you don’t need to go see a therapist to change your negative thought patterns, if you have enough awareness and motivation to change.

🤓 Get yourself a journal, look into gratitude and mindfulness habits, be a decent human being (get your sunlight, hydration, movement and relationships right) and 85% of your problems will be solved.

Here are 3 lessons I learnt so far to manage all-or-nothing thinking tendencies:

• 3 wins of the day in daily journaling: it’s all about perceptions. Yes, things might not go 100% as planned, but what went well? What good things you might have ignored because your brain was so busy focusing on the “imperfection”?
  • Extended reading/materials: try this Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs 🐜) record based on CBT technique
• Ride the momentum: maximise effort and productivity during the “all-in” phase to get more things done (yes, I believe in sprinting during certain life seasons rather than “work-life balance”)
• Principles and strategies: set rules based on personal values and who you want to become. For example, I quit the game, Instagram and certain eating habits because they didn’t make me who I want to be. In cases like these, it’s easier to eliminate than to tiptoe around it, e.g. “I will use social media 5 minutes a day”, or “I will only have one donut every month”. Remove what’s not serving you from your phone, your house, and your LIFE.