my biggest fear in life

Over the years I have been constantly preaching how unstable it is to be an employee, and how unreliable a “steady” paycheck is.

The brutal truth

I have encountered all kinds of excuses of not going the entrepreneur path. Category A is the ones that are happy and contented to have a fixed schedule, when they could just chill out after 6pm every Monday to Friday. Category B is the ones who know, in their heads, that being an entrepreneur is the way out to get rich quick (not “get rich easy”, mind you) and live the “dream life” (however you define it), but it’s hard to get over the mental barrier of not receiving a steady paycheck every month.

Ultimately, we don’t want to take full responsibility of our lives.

Look at what I wrote down in my journal 2 years ago (forgot where it’s from, maybe the 4HWW):

“A steady paycheck provides you FIXED income, not a STEADY life”.

In 2020, we all know that being an employee is as risky as starting a business.

But still, we might be scared of the hard work. Scared of failure. And more interestingly, scared of actually succeeding in it.

My realisation

While I’m not someone who always practises what she preaches, I actually quit my job in Feb this year. But for good reason. I’m a full time student now, after 5 yerars of working as an accountant. Taking the leap is scary as hell. Not to mention the student loan I’m currently facing. But I did it anyway. And I plan to do more great stuff.

While I have decided that I would take the entrepreneurial path and grind, I did have hesitation and doubts. I love hearing stories about my friends quitting their jobs and pursuing something else. But this week, after I finished my first placement, I started to understand why people in category A exist. It was indeed exhausting. Then I started to wonder if it’s just the therapy occupation. I was always tired after work when I was an accountant, but the desire and hunger to get out of the situation were so strong that I overcame the exhaustion and paid the effort to change my life after work hours.

My point is, in the past I might seem harsh when I said I didn’t get why people would sit on the couch and binge watch Netflix. I now start to understand it. But that doesn’t justify it. I believe there are many ways we can wind down, give our mind a break, do some self care etc. Boxing is my way out for this. I don’t throw away my grand plan just after one day of experiencing how it would be like to be a music therapist. Instead, I think of ways to better streamline my process and be more productive on my personal projects. Who knows? I might be able to churn out 2 videos per week with a part time music therapist job. It is not impossible.

My biggest fear in life

Why am I so obsessed with doing different things on the side?

I am only afraid of one thing in life.

I am afraid of not reaching my full potential.

I don’t want to lie on my death bed and think, “well certain years ago I should have worked harder to achieve my dream. I knew I could do it but I chose not do.”

That’s why I am so obsessed with making tiny progress every single day. I believe everything is a skill that can be learnt, practised and mastered. Every day I am sharpening the required skills in order to move closer to my goal. No matter how big or small that goal is, I am always going to get there. No excuse.

There might not be any superpower or luck that those successful people you look up to have. They are just persistent, tough, not taking no for an answer etc. And the common ground is, they are once just you and I. Just someone who got a dream. Someone who decided to make a difference in the world.

To overcome any fear, you need to acknowledge it, own it, and take the first step to confront it. The more you face it, the better you become in dealing with it. Look, I get it, it’s hard to take the first step. I don’t want to face spiders if I have a choice. But in order to do great things, you need to be stronger. Invincible. Think of all the things you could have achieved if you win over your fears every single day.

Start from showing up every day, overcoming every challenge that comes your way.

I believe this is what life is supposed to be, and I encourage you to be courageous too.