I have been debating with myself long enough if I should be among the first ones to dine in at a cafe or restaurant from 15 May 2020 onwards.
It’s not about whether I DARE to go out or not. I still have enough masks and I practise good personal hygiene.
It is the realisation that lockdown or not didn’t affect my life as much as it did to other people.
It led me to further investigation of my current lifestyle.
Yes I’m never the outgoing nor outdoor person but to a certain extent I like to connect with other people. Always prefer virtually than face-to-face. I certainly cannot stay at home all day without going out even for a stroll. Gosh I was always the first one to try a new cafe in town before the virus hit us. I enjoyed certain kinds of excitement from trying something new and refreshing.
So if we take out the virus factor, I think it has something to do with my new status. I became a full time student again since March this year, and I’m in a long distance relationship because I moved back to Sydney. Naturally it would take me some time to get used to the status quo despite the fact that I have been in Sydney for 7 years before. Things were so different. When I first arrived to this kangaroo land I was just 17. I have changed a lot since then. And now, given the same full time student identity but being almost 27, I feel like I’m 17 again but with tons of responsibilities. My point is, in the ordinary situation I probably would join some clubs and meet new people, or even jam music together if I met anyone who “clicked”; and I would even get a part time job. And now the virus took every opportunity away from me.
Is that so?
I realised I am just using virus as an excuse.
There is literally nothing stopping us from getting what we want, if I am being honest.
Indeed I can’t go hiking or fishing now, but I can still find online groups to join, try as many new restaurants as I wanted through UberEats. And I could probably earn some cash from being a part time assistant in supermarkets, or even being an Uber driver (this post is by no means sponsored by them it just happened I kepy quoting them).
It comes down to a choice.
If I am down to 10 cents now I would have no choice but to do things I don’t really want to do.
It is difficult to accept the fact that I am full of excuses. But once I saw past that and accepted full responsibilities I can change my life.
The virus locked our lives down, but not us.
The stage 1 lockdown lift in NSW is here. How is it going to change my life again?
Keeping public health practice in mind, it is time to embrace another lifestyle. It starts from making a change. Walking out of comfort zone (not too literally speaking) and connect with people. This week I actually started filming more of what was going on in my life as an affort to change course of how I did my vlogs. I really need to stop using the word ” uneventful” to describe my days. We should not live our lives in a blur. There should be a highlight of the day, something we feel grateful for and proud of. Make that 1% progress. It will compound and your future self will thank you.
This week I thought a lot on the new hobbies and trends everyone is doing at home. I don’t like binging on Netflix and I don’t like to do puzzles. The Dalgona coffee never appealed to me despite the fact that I’m a coffeeholic. But one thing got me.
I have noticed how everyone posting homemade meals affected me. First of all, I don’t enjoy cooking. I don’t consider myself a good cook either. I try out new recipes from time to time but I never feel excited or satisfied. There is this influence of social media – the majority standard sneaks into your subconscious mind and you unknowingly want to join the game. And that upsets me. What have I done since the lockdown in late March? Everyone was baking, playing Animal Crossing, having virtual birthday parties. I went to online classes, did some assignments and made some songs and covers. Everyone was posting banana bread on their stories, and I had no result to show the world. This is really unhealthy.
Lucky for me, I was quite aware of my own thinking and reaction. I was also reading “The Courage to be Disliked” this week and it helped and inspired me tremendously. Book review comes later. The conclusion is that no matter how much I don’t care about cooking or baking, it is still a type of skill which can be practised and perfected. My rationale is to learn how to cook and bake food I absolutely love and crave for, make them my signature recipes so I can enjoy the process and the result. That’s why I ordered an electronic mixer. Sounds a bit late to the game but hey, I am not doing it for the gram.
Another thing I noticed was my lack of hobbies. Since I became a music therapy student and made music (passion) my profession, I need other hobbies to balance my life. Then I realise everything I do is indoor which sounds so… introvert indeed. But then this week I received a surprise parcel from my best friend in Hong Kong and it consists of two bottle of gins. It finally clicked. I should have thought about it earlier – I can learn how to make my own cocktails! I started exploring rooftop bars around 2 years ago and although I can’t say I know a lot about alcohol, I do actively seek perfect balance and combination in cocktails. Now I have time and freedom to try this new hobby out. I felt so excited when I had the lightbulb moment. So I also ordered a cockail kit. Can’t wait to try them out.
update: so I ended up visiting a casual restaurant at midnight on 15 May – the official start of stage 1 lockdown lift – because why not? Create more memories. And it wasn’t hard at all to keep social distancing since we were the only customers until 12.30am haha.
So this is how my lifestyle is gradually changing with the environment. As long as you have passion in something and you keep making progress, nothing is going to stop you from achieving what you want.