You must have heard of this before.
“Focus on yourself and ignore what others think of you.”
Yep, easier said than done. I get it.
There is this image we put out there for the world to see when we are outside. It’s like we have many personalities and when we need to present ourselves we pull out the corresponding mask and put it on.
Why do we care?
Believe it or not, no one actually cares. Everyone is selfish and they only focus on themselves. See, everyone is probably busy thinking of how others think of themselves. No one takes a good look at you.
Since I got an upright piano (courtesy of a friend) I had been practising a lot more than before. Making up for the past 10 years. Not only did I start practising advanced pieces, I also observed something interesting.
I cared about what my neighours think.
Heck, I don’t even know how my neighbours look like.
I practised the same 4 bars for one whole week because it was THAT hard.
Every time I hit the wrong note, I would think: were my neighbours annoyed by me yet?
I scolded myself for even thinking such ridiculous thing while I should be focusing on the pattern.
Funny thing is – not gonna lie here – sometimes when I hear my neighbours play simple songs on the piano I smile to myself. Yes I have advanced skills and I have my pride. But who hasn’t been through the beginner stage? It’s called practice for a reason. I’m allowed to make all the mistakes in the world when I’m perfecting my skills at home. It is the safehouse to brush up my techniques. Patterns make up the bars. The bars make up the song. One day I will be playing at performance level before my neighbours know it.
This whole wondering-about-what-my-neighbours-think thing got me thinking of why do we care about what others think of us so much.
Sure, we all have certain level of self-awareness. Among all the events, I find social media particularly interesting. Social media is a double-edged sword. It makes us aware of the things we post online, but at the same time we get lost and we are unaware of the time we spend scrolling and you know what’s worse? The unconscious comparison.
“If I post this picture with my messy room background they will think I’m untidy.”
“If I don’t get that bag next time they will laugh at my fashion sense.”
The list goes on.
For God’s sake, it’s your social media account. Unless you are an influencer who signed contract with brands to present certain features, otherwise you are the boss. You post whatever pleases you. You can even set the trend.
Since when did we start being nosy to other people’s stuff and living up to their standards?
It took me so long to rectify my thoughts.
We are always a work in progress. No matter what you are working on.
You will never be perfect.
When your goal is clear enough, you get so immersed in the process that you don’t even have time and energy to pay attention to other people.
And yes, I believe there should be more creators than consumers in the world.
You have your one life to live.
Set your own terms.
Who cares about the society’s standards and judgments?