Finding Happiness: A Journey Beyond Social Expectations

What does living life “on your own terms” mean to you?

 

How much control do you have right now?

 

And how can you become that ideal version of yourself?

 

True authenticity is rarely found today.

 

We all live somehow based on others’ expectations or definitions, and certain responsibilities.

 

We sense the increasing tension, and will soon have to choose: to go our own way and break from societal expectations, or to fit in and stop considering our true desires.

Today in 8 minutes or less, you’ll learn:

✔️ How to find time for things you care about (realistically)

✔️ A better way to measure “happiness” and improve mental health

✔️ What I do outside clinic – habits, diets and more – in a vlog!

Doable ideas 💭

Time audit.

Do you know how much time you spent on commuting and cooking last week?

 

I know my numbers.

 

In fact, it surprised me when I found out I spent 10-14 hours per week to consistently publish 2 videos on YouTube.

 

That’s almost a casual job.

From my Notion calendar of last week. Grey = time spent on business/YouTube channel, blue = life admin.

You will never get time back

 

Imagine you got 24 chips on the table to spend in the casino.

 

Once you placed them, you couldn’t take them back.

 

Time works the same.

 

I put 8 chips in “sleep”, 2 in “commute”, 2 in “life admin”, and half of my chips is gone.

 

Tracking how we use our time is valuable: we often underestimate how long a task will take.

 

You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do

 

I’ve been tracking my schedule diligently in the past few years (see video above).

 

When I did my weekly review on Saturdays, I knew whether I had been lying to myself when I compared my ideal with my actual schedule.

 

If you have goals you’re striving for, you know you have to put in the time and effort.

 

Life always gets in our way, but look at your calendar closely – I’m sure you can always find extra 15 minutes here and there.

 

Doing a time audit is like putting a mirror in front of yourself and being completely honest of reality.

 

Self awareness brews behavioural changes.

Reflections 🪞

Reflect on a recent setback or failure. How can I embrace it as an opportunity for growth, learning, and resilience?

(source: https://blog.journey.cloud/50-stoic-journaling-prompts-example/)


Mindfulness 🧘🏻‍♀️

If something costs your mental health, it’s too costly.

 

What contributes to mental health decline? What triggers you?

 

I’m oh-so-familiar with this. Constant dissatisfaction, toxic environment, and worse: a sense of hopelessness.

 

The job (or career) that sucks your soul like a dementor.

 

The friend who always lures you into partying and drinking.

 

The demanding boss.

 

The flatmate who’s on a strict takeaway food diet.

 

Everyone seems to be stressed and on some kind of rat race.

 

Happiness, sound mental health or quality of life are not something you can measure in dollars.

 

Maybe that’s why we have a hard time quitting situations that don’t serve us.

 

We can’t make sensible decisions because we can’t fully understand the benefits we’re getting from new situations:

  • How much would I get from freedom of speech if I moved countries?
  • How much peace would I get from moving out?
  • How much happier could I be if I quit that career?

 

The best way to be more mindful about this, in my experience, is to focus on hidden metrics.

 

You have to define that for yourself, but here are a few examples of mine:

  • 💤 Sleep quality (loosely tracked with my Apple watch and how I feel in the morning)
  • 💛 Life satisfaction (measured on a sacle of 1 to 10 weekly in important life areas)
  • 🏋🏻‍♀️ Rate of perceived exertion (RPE) during workout (constantly challenging myself → growth, confidence, resilience)

 

No one else knows about this.

 

I mean, how often is this being discussed anyway?

 

When you catch up with a friend, you talk about job promotion, lifestyle upgrade and whatnot – the obvious metrics – but not how bad your sleep is because of that job, or how much trouble that new car gives you.

 

It’s tough to focus on improving unseen metrics because we, as humans, like to compare visible things like cars, houses, status, and clothes.

 

It all comes down what’s more important to you: your health and well-being, or others’ opinion of you.

Ideas Worth Pondering 🧠

Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against.
– Ryan Holiday


Video This Week 🎥

Every now and then, I document my life in vlogs.

 

I’m in a previleged position to have Mondays off at the moment. This is pretty much what I do outside work – a mix of movements, deep work and cooking.

 

I don’t have highlight reels to showcase to the world. This is just me, doing the work, walking the talk.

 

Behind-the-scenes are often boring and unsexy.

 

It’s all about showing up, getting the reps in, becoming good at something.

 

I have a clear vision in mind: remain fit and strong (increase health span), be a polyglot, contribute to the world.

 

This vlog features:

📒 My morning journal

🏋🏻‍♀️ My current workout routine & how I track workout performance on Notion

🥗 Slow carb diet friendly recipes (and whether I will continue this way of eating)

🎥 BTS of how I publish 2 videos per week

 

Trust the process.

 

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