Pain is Inevitable; Suffering is Optional 🙂

personal growth / By

If you have ever tried to get back to a routine after a break, or relearn something, you’ll understand my pain.

 

This week I have been settling into my new job, getting back to slow carb diet (with new fitness goals), and language learning habit.

 

I also had new found motivation to clarify my thoughts further to bring you more insightful email every week
 🙂

Today in 4 minutes or less, you’ll learn:

✔ How I manage expectations and avoid disappointments

✔ How to align actions and goals

✔ How I combine habits to achieve goals faster

Doable ideas 💭

Loosen your grip on the schedule you carefully designed once in a while and say yes to invitations.

 

You might stumble upon interesting things and people.

Reflections đŸȘž

Since October began, how have you seen yourself grow as a person?

Mindfulness đŸ§˜đŸ»â€â™€ïž

I’ve been thinking about “disappointment” recently.

 

The emotion that is linked to expectation.

 

We all know that life won’t be 100% under our control, but we cannot help but look forward to certain events


 

Or even, get attached to a particular outcome.

 

It’s not wrong to want things.

 

Anticipation is a big part of the event itself.

 

The waiting, the discussion with friends after you booked a flight; the butterfly in your stomach before going on a date


 

A mixture of expectation and anticipation.

 

Unexpected events, whether positive or negative, are inevitable.

 

So to avoid suffering from disappointment, the real question becomes:

 

How can we handle uncertainty better?

 

I have a few thoughts on managing expectations:

  1. Focus on what’s under my control: most likely, only my responses to situations. I can only influence events to a certain extent. It’s a lesson of letting go.
  2. Negative visualisation: imagine the worst case scenario, assess the likelihood of that happening, then do everything under your control to prevent it. Expect the worst, so you won’t be “disappointed”.
  3. Not to take things personally. Eliminate unnecessary suffering.

 

In general, it’s about taking different perspectives. Get a more “accurate” picture of reality. Whatever helps you feel better.

 

When things don’t go as planned.

 

When you get rejected.

 

When you don’t communicate expectations properly.

 

Sometimes I remind myself that life isn’t going to be a smooth journey anyway, so just ride it like waves.

 

Accept whatever comes, so I don’t have to “suffer” from this almost self-imposed negative emotion.

 

After all, I believe that life happens FOR you, not TO you.

Ideas Worth Pondering 🧠

Our values are constantly reflected in the way we choose to behave. This is critically important—because we all have a few things that we think and say we value, but we never back them up with our actions.
– Anne-Laure Le Cunff

Video This Week đŸŽ„

Take a sneak peek into how I achieve my goals faster with this hack (p.s. new video format!) đŸ‘‡đŸ»

 

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